Oh dear, looks like the circus is back in town and the clowns at the COPFS are at it again.
Seems they just can't help themselves and those stupid insufferable snobs who make up our corrupt Crown Office are trying to get above their station again, despite being slapped down about a similar thing the other day.
Not content with having wrongly and illegally threatened to investigate David Davis MP for speaking up against them in the U.K. Parliament (which they can't do of course because he has Parliamentary Privilege), the jackboot brigade at the COPFS have now ordered The Spectator magazine to retract an article they wrote criticising them or face a £50,000 fine.
I use the figure £50,000 but in reality there's no cap on that figure and legal costs could easily take the actual cost to 10 times that amount if The Spectator don't comply.
The Spectator can't afford that amount of money so they'll probably have to comply with the Crown office's dubious demands.
In essence, what's really going on is that the COPFS are warning the Spectator that if they don't play ball and stop criticising them, they'll bankrupt them and destroy their business.
Hey, how many times have I told you that these people in the COPFS are nasty, vicious and vindictive people.
And it gets even crazier.
Not only have the COPFS ordered the article they don't like to be taken offline, they've also ordered the magazine to delete a copy of the article which is residing on an internet history website (based somewhere in California we think) which The Spectator don't own, don't know anything about, and have zero control over.
Internet archives (they used to be called 'way back' machines back in my day) take snap shots of websites and store them for future posterity. They have been part of the internet for as long as I can remember, well over 20 years at least, but the thicko's at the COPFS have no idea what these archives are or how they work.
The COPFS don't realise that these history retaining archive sites are the online equivalent of people keeping copies of old newspaper articles under their sofa. The information will ALWAYS be out there somewhere in the world archived and ready to be retrieved by future generations at a later date. Neither the Spectator or anyone can control or stop it.
Yes, of course you can delete a blog post or a tweet or a web page from the internet, but there will always be snapshots and copies of them out there in cyberspace.
But that's only one part of this bizarre spat between the COPFS and The Spectator.
A Crown spokesperson has now come out said:
"Where the Crown becomes aware of issues of potential contempt of court, these will be considered carefully and action will be taken if considered appropriate."
OMG! Where the hell do they get these half-wit spokespersons from?
So let's get this straight...the Crown Office are actually threatening journalists from The Spectator with a contempt of court order.
Hmmm, that doesn't sound much like freedom of speech or a journalists right to speak truth to power?
Even more bizarre is the idea that the COPFS have the authority to threaten them with contempt of court.
What court would that be exactly?
Because the COPFS are not a court. They cannot make decisions that a court makes. They don't have the authority of a court. The can't act as a court. A court is above them. The Crown office is beneath the power and authority of a court.
Don't believe me? Just walk in to any court in Scotland and watch how the Procurator Fiscal sooks up to the Sheriff and kisses his bahookie at every opportunity. It'll gie ye' the dry boak!
You'll soon realise who has the authority in a court of law (*Hint - and it's not the COPFS).
The behaviour of the Scottish Crown office towards the Spectator magazine is exactly what David Davis MP was talking about the other day when he criticised the COPFS.
They are seriously over stretching their authority. They seem to think they can tell people what they can and can't say and what they can and can't print.
They even tried to tell a parliamentary committee what they could and couldn't see.
Yes, you read that correctly, the COPFS threatening a Parliamentary Committee for goodness sake!
Sheeez! Who the hell do these half-wits in the Crown Office think they are?
The most comical vision for me of the last week has been imagining the COPFS all huddled together in some wee room, somewhere in Scotland, plotting (and believing) that they can march down to the UK parliament, burst in, and arrest David Davis MP for saying unkind things about them...despite the fact that he has Parliamentary Privilege and, well, the COPFS have NO authority to do that. Zero authority, none whatsoever.
What a bunch of tossers. I just find it hilarious that these half-wits may have thought - even for a second - that they could do this.
Do the COPFS realise everyone's laughing at them?
Do they have even so much as an ounce of self-awareness to know that they are the laughing stock of the whole country? They are the emperor with no clothes. King Canute ordering the tide out.
Honestly, these numpties are unbelievable. Where the hell do they get this bizarre air of self importance from? It's astonishing. People all around the UK are literally scratching their heads at their antics.
Procurator Fiscals have no real power or authority, yet a culture has been allowed to fester in this little bubble they live in over at the COPFS where they seem to think they do. They stick marbles in their mouth and swan around like little Demagogues wagging their finger at every stray cat that passes them in the street, totally unaware that the cat doesn't give two hoots about them or their finger.
These are seriously delusional people. It's painfully pathetic to watch.
The COPFS really needs to be brought back down to earth because they've completely forgotten their lowly humble place in our society as public servants. This culture of trying to throw their weight around in excess of the little authority they have is becoming tiresome.
Will someone please, please, for goodness sake, tell these idiots that they are NOT important people, they have No power over anyone, and their only real useful function is to act as a prosecution service in a court of law.
(*Note - before anyone writes to me to point out that the COPFS also investigate sudden deaths, they don't really if the truth be known, the coroner does all that - 'deid boadies' and the sight of blood are too much for the delicate stomachs of the snowflakes who float around the COPFS).
So let's send them a strong message. Let's tell them in no uncertain terms that they are NOT the law, they are NOT a court, they cannot issue court orders, and they have NO authority whatsoever in a court.
It's time the Scottish COPFS got back to doing what they do best: loitering around Sheriff Court corridors co-ercing police officers to lie in the witness stand so they can get some wee guy fae the local cooncil scheme 'done' for being drunk in charge of a fish supper.
Now that's what the COPFS really excel at.
Know your place COPFS. Stop trying to get above your station and stop trying to play with the big boys.
You're not in their league. Not even close.