Hmmm, perhaps I should change my profession to 'clairvoyant'.
Because just two months ago I wrote a blog post about an interaction I had with police and it was a post which I knew the Police Scotland vultures would be very unhappy with. In it, I predicted that untrustworthy Police Scotland would soon 'target' me (again).
Police seem to like to stop me in my vehicle, no doubt in the hope that they can find something wrong with the vehicle or the paperwork and then charge me for something, anything.
I even correctly predicted the exact vehicle I would be driving when police stop me. (see original article here)
Yip, rest assured, police don't like it when innocent members of the public, like me, expose their lies and their corruption.
And sure enough, today, I was stopped by police...in the very vehicle I predicted I would be in (i.e. the one I know they have the registration number for - linked to my name - in their 'intelligence' file on me).
As has become usual when police stop me, the officer who flagged me down today (at 2:05am on 7/3/17 in Allison Street on the south-side of Glasgow) refused to give me a reason why he stopped me...well, apart from the "oh, it's just routine" standard answer police always give when they want to lie and hide their real reasons for stopping you <yawn>
I'm still not sure why he took my debit card from me and walked away with it and gave it to the other officer before then giving it back to me. I'm not sure if it was even legal for him to do that?
So as per usual, after Mr Plod trotted out his usual scripted responses and pathetic lies/excuses for why he had stopped me (which they all do to cover themselves), and then went on to find absolutely nothing wrong with my vehicle or it's paperwork. Nothing. Not a sausage!
I was then allowed to go on my merry way...
...but only after he advised that my front drivers side tyre was over-inflated (and no, I'm not making this up)!
So today, I have a message for untrustworthy Police Scotland:
"Hey guys, I hear you and I get it, I really do. I know you're still smarting because you got it wrong and arrested me, the wrong person, an innocent man, a few years ago and then refused to go after the criminal who committed a crime against me because it would cause the courts to re-visit and highlight your original bungled investigation - and you don't like being proved wrong never mind your mistakes being highlighted. Better a criminal go free so police can save face and avoid criticism eh?
I know that I then instructed my solicitor to sue you and I also know how much you hate it when a member of the public criticises you and tries to sue you - you see it as a slap in the face to your authority rather than an opportunity to right your wrongs. Your arrogance, vindictiveness and corruption knows no bounds and doesn't allow you to admit mistakes. Instead of properly using your finite resources to catch real criminals, instead, you knowingly set about a pattern of vengeful behaviour against the people who dare to criticise you. You have no regard for the well being of the innocent members of the public who's lives you passively savage.
Believe me, I know you're hell-bent on hassling me forever more to 'punish' me for having the audacity to dare to expose the corruption in your ranks. I also know that your targeting of me will continue until you find something, anything, to pin on me, just so you can justify your past treatment and behaviour towards me (even though I proved you to be completely wrong in court).
You may be surprised to hear me say that human beings get things wrong from time to time and I understand completely that police officers are no different - police officers are human beings too and they unfortunately get things wrong from time to time...but you need to be honest about it and admit it.
Surely honesty from our police officers should be the absolute minimum the Scottish public should expect from you?
I'm so sorry that you were unable to find even so much as a faulty indicator bulb on my vehicle today and that everything regarding the vehicle was in absolute perfect working order (although goodness knows you tried as hard as you could to find a fault). I'm sorry that my vehicle turned out to be well maintained, completely ship-shape, and all the documentation totally in order. This must have been a great disappointment to you.
Thank you for your wonderful advice that one of my front tyres is 'over-inflated', even though you did NOT check it with any kind of measuring gauge equipment (and why would you, you're not even white-tops/traffic-police so your judgement in this area is far from competent).
But hey c'mon, let's get down to brass tacks here. This wasn't about giving me a bit of tyre pressure 'advice' at all. It was all about you covering your bahookie to justify stopping me. Yip, you had to find some sort of anomaly, something, anything, didn't you? You and I both know the real 'warning' you were sending in my direction don't we, nudge, nudge, wink, wink ;-)
Finally, I'm not sure if too much air in a car tyre (which you didn't even bother to measure) makes me a criminal or even whether it is anywhere near to constituting a criminal act, but nevertheless please rest assured I have noted your comments and your 'warning',"
So, dear readers, on the wonderful advice of Police Scotland - who would appear to be extremely concerned for my personal safety while driving - I'm off to the tyre centre to have my tyre professionally checked and measured.
It looks absolutely fine to me, but I'll let you know how I get on and what the tyre centre say (guesses anyone)?
One thing is for sure though. My tyre certainly doesn't look as deflated as the expression on the face of the copper who stopped me today when he realised he couldn't find anything wrong with me, with my driving, with my paperwork, or with my vehicle.
Stay tuned for the next instalment.
Perhaps I'll run a quiz shortly entitled "How long do y'all reckon it'll be before I get stopped by police again"