This is one of those stories that, if true, it's truly disgraceful - in fact if you were to find out it wasn't true, you'd breathe a sigh of relief and be happy.
But at the same time, there would still be that little bit of the devil in you that would be a wee bit disappointed because, bad as this story is, it makes for a really great story and part of you does kinda want it to be true.
OK, apologies for sounding like a cryptic puzzle. Let me explain.
Cambusnethan Miners Welfare is one of those old fashioned working mens social clubs in a wee village out in the sticks near Wishaw. Like all working mens social clubs today it's a bit of a time-warp but never the less a wonderful safe place where the more mature, older, members of the community can go and enjoy a pint, a chin-wag, and a wee waltz around the dancefloor to the local ceildh band. You get the idea.
Except, according to reports, two OAP's were caught in the toilets snorting cocaine.
Yip, I had to read that last sentence again too!
For the record, the two OAP's involved deny any wrong doing and police in Wishaw don't appear to be taking things any further either so the matter looks to be concluded.
Suffice to say, they were given a very strong telling off by the club committee. Hey, don't laugh, it's stern stuff in these places when a club official in a blazer with a badge with the word 'committee' written on it wags his finger at you. You could be barred from the line dancing night and the dominoes tournament if you're not careful.
It reminds me of a phrase I used to hear an OAP in a working mens social club say to people years ago (when describing his age, his prowess, and his grey hair).
He would often tell people "There may be snow on the roof but there's fire raging down below".
Well, Cambusnethan Miners Welfare's new phrase must surely be "There may be snow in the toilet but they're raging in the committee room"
Who would've guessed Woodstock hippies are still alive and kickin' and strutting their stuff with all those groovy chicks way down in Cambusnethan eh?
Peace and love man, yeah!