Saturday 19 March 2016

Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

Quick, lock every door and all the windows - nobody move. There has been a theft from a Starbucks cafe and nobody's leaving till police get to the bottom of it.

Ah yes dear reader, this is the sorry tale of a Starbucks cafe in Scotland which has had just under £17,000 nicked from their premises. Two years have passed and the crime still hasn't been solved by Police Scotland.

The money disappeared over a four-month period from the Starbucks coffee shop and Police Scotland just don't know how it happened. Not a clue.

Perhaps that's understandable. Because let's face it, you can hardly expect police officers to be sitting in a Starbucks cafe every day watching out for a possible crime taking place on the premises can you?

No, that would just be silly.


If the Starbucks cafe in question happened to be in Tulliallan, Scotland where Police Scotland headquarters are that might be a wee bit different.

And if it happened to be the actual branch of Starbucks inside Tulliallan Castle, home to the Scottish Police College where they train detectives and house the top brass of Police Scotland, then I would say that would just be a tad embarrassing, wouldn't you?!

Yip, you've guessed. Embarrassment all round - because that's exactly where the cafe is.

£17,000 got nicked right under the noses of Scotland’s top cops.

That's a lot of egg on their face.

The only way this could be more embarrassing for Police Scotland is if it had happened in a Dunkin' Donuts.

Because that would've given me a wonderful excuse to make jokes about the missing 'dough' and our top brass in Police Scotland not quite being the 'creme de la creme' they think they are and all that.

Hey, hang on. Starbucks sell donuts too don't they?

Oh good, I can leave all those 'stale' jokes in after all.