New chief constable Phil 'Gormless' has visited the north-east of Scotland and praised the officers in that area for the way they have responded to local policing issues.
It's akin to clueless young Mr Grace in 'Are you being served' visiting the shop floor to tell the staff 'you've all done very well'.
What's the betting he didn't drive up to the north of Scotland himself. Even with a Sat-Nav I doubt whether our country's top cop even knows where the north of Scotland is never mind visited the area before.
I am reliably informed that while he was there he instructed the doors of all north-east police stations to be decorated with tartan paint, and officers to be extra vigilant during haggis shooting season.
OK, I made that last bit up.