iPhone 5

Sorry, I just don't see what the fuss is about.

I have one of the older iPhone 3GS models. The geeks out there laugh at me and assure me my iPhone is as ancient as the pyramids and the type of phone Fred Flintstone would use (if he wasn't a fictional character of course).

I don't care because when I bought my old iPhone 3GS all those years ago I spent exactly 1 week downloading and playing with tons of "apps" and thinking how wonderful it was. Then after 1 week of playing like a kid with a new toy, I got bored.

I've since spent the last 3 years using it to purely make phone calls and send the odd text message. OK, I admit I also check the occasional email and Google the odd answer at my local pubs quiz night when no-one's looking, but that's about it.

So don't expect to see me with the new super-duper iPhone 5 anytime soon. Unless it comes with a Blackberry Messenger app and a Nokia battery installed I'm afraid I'm not interested.

And if you happen to get a new iPhone 5 and decide you want to show it off to me, don't bother. If it can make a phone call and send a text message then it's no more attractive to me than the iPhone I've already got.

Which reminds me of a joke...

How can you tell if someone has the new iPhone 5?

You don't need to, they'll soon tell you.